Pastoral Counselling part 2

2 The Bible and counselling

It is the Bible itself which alerts us to the various dimensions of evil: consequential evil, oppressive evil, demonic evil and personal evil. Part of the difficulty is that these do not exist in separate compartments; they often come together and overlap in experience. This makes it difficult, sometimes almost impossible, to unravel the complexities of the problems that some individuals have. We have to acknowledge, too, that conversion by itself does not solve all the difficulties that some people experience. It certain respects it can make the situation worse, when, for example, people suffer hostility or ridicule for their faith.

The Bible also speaks of ‘madness’, it recognizes in doing so that a person’s mind can be affected so that they may act in unusual ways and experience bizarre feelings. We have to recognize that the so-called ‘medical model’, that is that there can be mental illnesses, is correct though such illnesses may arise from various causes. Gerard Manley Hopkins has expressed it forcibly; ‘O, the mind, mind, has mountains, cliffs of fall/frightful, sheer, no-man-fathomed. Hold them cheap/may who ne’er hung there.’ Just as the bone of a limb may break if put under too great a pressure, so the mind or emotions may break down under conditions that are too great for it to bear. Just think of the experience of people in wartime, whether combatants or civilians.

The Bible also provides the framework within which we reflect on our experience and do our thinking. See, for example, Psalm 111:2; Matthew 16:2,3; Acts 17: 24-29 – in this case note v.28 and Paul’s use of pagan writers; Ecclesiastes 1:12,13 cf. 2:13,14; 3:10,12,13. This is not always an easy exercise. We can misunderstand the Bible, we can misapply what it says, we may have unrealised assumptions which vitiate our understanding of the Bible and our thinking process, we can misunderstand our own experience and the experience of others, we can misunderstand what other people are saying or have written. In other words we have to take great care because while we desire to do good, it is possible to cause harm.

Experience can be broken down into two elements. First of all there is our own personal experience. It is important and valuable to reflect on this. We should consider our childhood and its influence on our lives; our temperaments, weaknesses and peculiarities; our temptations, the difference grace has made; our victories, defeats, the lessons we have learned (cf. Philippians 4:11). This requires honesty and may sometimes be difficult for us. We also have to remember that while much is common to all individuals, there are also significant differences.

So we need also to reflect on our experience of others. We can do this in general terms, considering what we have learnt from members of our family, from friends, from our general experience in the different areas of life. In this connection it is valuable if pastors have a wider experience than school and theological college. We learn also by considering our own congregation, the different personalities, abilities and needs. We usually find ourselves engaging in pastoral care and counselling from the very beginning, though perhaps with some trepidation at first. So we can consider the lessons we have been taught; our surprises, failures, and ‘successes’.

We also have to engage in wider thinking. This usually means reading and assessing books. This is often difficult. We are out of the normal realm of biblical and theological study. We can read books which are essentially the findings of research. These can be valuable, but research is often vitiated by presuppositions, and while these are sometimes clear at other times they are not. This can be the case with books written by Christians too.

Some books are more a matter of theory rather than direct research, though often theory is based on research. There are various theories. For example, there are theories about the importance, and indeed the reality, of the unconscious; about the significance of dreams, and about the influence of the past.

When we come to try and evaluate experience and what we read in the light of the Bible we have to remember that the Bible is primarily about salvation. Moreover, the present life of the saved is one of sanctification. The Bible is directly about holy living, but it is indirectly about coping with the burdens and problems of life. It shows us how people were intended to function and traces out the means which lead to fruitful and godly living.

In this respect the Bible gives us a great deal of help in deducing principles for counselling:

In the biographical and narrative passages we often see human nature and human problems; e.g. Matthew 15:21-28; John 21:15-19.

In the wisdom literature we are given many practical guidelines for life.

In Paul’s letters where we can see developed many helpful and vital principles for godly living.

The Bible advises us that the human situation is complex and not simple. Think of David, writing the Psalms and falling into sin. Think of Peter, professing his allegiance to Jesus, then denying him three times. Consider Romans 6,7 and 8. Are they easy, simple and straightforward?

3 Practical reflections on counselling

a) Preparatory

We have to learn how to apply the Bible to problems of daily living and spiritual experience.

We need to keep close to our people without being intrusive.

Many people need to grasp and live by the gospel. They need to realise what they are by grace in Christ, and all the resources they have in him, John 1:16. All God’s dealings with us are in grace.

The church needs to be developed to be a place of acceptance and healing. Some churches are much better at this than others, Colossians 3:14,15.

b) Attitudes

We need faith in the power of God, and realism.

We need truth and understanding; love and wisdom; sympathy and detachment.

c) Action

We can do a great deal by suitable, applicatory preaching.

We can do much by prayer, and little without it.

We can do much by example.

We need to be ready to reveal our own humanness, understanding and vulnerability.

d) Limitations

We must be careful not to go beyond our competency; we must be humble enough to recognise our limitations. We can call on the advice of others; more experienced ministers; trained Christian counsellors; Christian counselling services.

When a person needs specialist help they also need our support, prayers and guidance. But when do they need this?

In cases of serious depression, sleeplessness, etc. they need to check with a GP – this is not unbelief or seeking help from the world.

Check previous history.

Consider circumstances; menopause; PMT; childbirth; stress.

Many only come for help when the problem has grown to serious proportions.

We need other counsellors than ourselves, especially for women and girls.

e) The process of counselling

We can give help to unbelievers for they too are made in the image of God.

A great deal of help is befriending and listening, common sense and application of principles which apply to us all as humans.

All counselling requires thoughtful listening. We need to assess how much time to give; in some cases give clear times; watch out for repetition.

Counselling includes both paraklhsiV and nouqhsia.

Counselling can become directive, if necessary, when it is clear that the real problems have emerged.

f) Dangers

Dancing to the counsellee’s tune.

Getting emotionally or sexually involved with the counsellee.

Allowing the counsellee to become dependent on you rather than the Lord.

Conclusion: pastoral counselling is primarily concerned to equip Christians to function to the best of their abilities and gifts in their own particular circumstances to the glory of God.