Christian counselling - part 1 of a fraternal address

Pastoral Counselling

‘Pastoral counselling’ suggests a pastor counselling and advising members of the church. Certainly this lies at the heart of what we shall be discussing. Though it is not only pastors who engage in counselling, every pastor finds himself called upon to do it. Those who counsel may deal with issues of great complexity and sensitivity. Nor is their counselling likely to be restricted to church members. Many pastors find that they have not been adequately prepared for this work. Eventually they tend to work out an approach which seems to them both biblical and practical. These articles are not based directly on anything more than the reading of a variety of books, experience and reflection. There are not definitive. They have been written in order to stimulate further thought, and in the hope that they will also have some practical value.

Definition: Pastoral counselling is applying the Word of God to particular individuals in their particular circumstances, according to their particular needs.

This might appear to be a rather awkward, wordy definition, so let me break it down a little. Firstly, the Word of God provides both general principles and particular remedies for various conditions of soul, stages of spiritual development and for practical living. There is no need to try and demonstrate this; it is accepted by all evangelical believers.

Secondly, particular individuals all share a common nature and are exposed to the same temptations, trials and problems of life. However, there are also particular complications arising from the person himself or herself, and the nature of the circumstances that person is in. This is obvious, but it must not be taken for granted or overlooked. A catch-all approach to counselling is mistaken and can be dangerous. People are different. Their temperaments, their backgrounds and upbringing, the circumstances through which they have passed, all go to make up them the individuals that they are.

Thirdly, particular circumstances always have to be taken into account. All temptations and trials are common to us as human beings, (1 Corinthians 10:13). Nevertheless, these differ at different times and in different places. Note 1 Peter 1:6, and see 2:11-17 and then how Peter speaks particularly to servants, 2:18-25; wives, 3:1-6; husbands, 3:7; all of you, 3:8 to 4:19; elders, 5:1-5.

Finally, particular needs arise out of our particular make-up and according to our particular circumstances. Needs also differ over time; when we are young we are immature and inexperienced. When we are older, perhaps married and with a family, or unmarried and wishing we were married, new needs arise. Later on our needs will change again. The Word of God has to be applied to those particular needs.

1 Sin, and the need for counselling

Underlying what is stated here are two assumptions. I assume, firstly, that the need for counselling arises because of sin. Prior to their disobedience Adam and Eve would not have needed counselling, at least not in the sense I am using it. It is the introduction of sin into the world that has made life so complex, difficult and full of problems. My second assumption is that we need a wide and radical view of sin and its consequences. For the time being I am going to use the word ‘evil’, because the Fall brought evil into the world; both as a principle in the hearts of all men and women, but also in a much wider sense in life and experience. We must be careful to avoid a simplistic view of evil.

There is consequential evil. Humanity is a fallen race in a cursed environment. We see this spelled out in Genesis 3:14ff. Enmity and conflict have come into the world. There will be pain in childbirth and damaged marriage relationships. Work becomes hard labour and the earth resists man’s efforts and becomes a source of danger and harm. Human beings will die, and this involves weakness and illness.

The results of this are all around us. There are those with disabilities, whether physical or mental. Desires and appetites given us by God become distorted and uncontrolled. We have our own temperaments, but some of these are fragile and all are affected by evil so that we all struggle in one way or another with what we are. Disease and accident are all around us; we are vulnerable when we are young and we may become more so when we get elderly. We all know the pain of bereavement and over the years suffer the loss of parents and others we love and those we know. There is also what could be called circumstantial evil. There are the pressures and stresses of life. Those pressures, if they are great enough, may lead to people to breaking down either physically or emotionally.

We have, I think, to learn to live and cope with consequential evil. Aspects can be mitigated, but until the Lord takes us out of this world and then restores the present creation we have to live with the presence of sin and evil. Counselling involves strategies which enable people to cope with living in the world as it is.

Then there is oppressive evil. This is the evil which people inflict on others. There are many people who suffer as the victims of evil. We see this developing in Genesis 4. Cain is jealous and kills his brother Abel. But that means he will go as a fugitive, fearing for his own life, so God puts a mark on him, v.14,15. Then in verses 19,23,24 we find Lamech taking two wives and boasting of taking vengeance on someone who had wounded him.

There are many examples in our society of this form of evil. The most obvious form is child abuse. But there are many other forms. Think of the victims of war, poverty and exploitation. Some people find themselves in abusive relationships. Many wives have suffered greatly. In our day many relationships break down with all the resulting heartache and sorrow that brings. We find people who are manipulative, who are bullies, who harass their neighbours or colleagues at work.

In general terms, if possible, we have to help people out of oppressive evil. This will not always be possible, but often it is the only way to make a real difference. Having said that, we cannot avoid all the forms this sort of evil takes. In fact Christians are likely to suffer opposition simply because they are Christians and we have to learn to live and cope with that.

There is demonic evil. This is very difficult to understand and quantify, especially in the days in which we live and with the general cultural outlook of our society. Ephesians 6:12 reminds us that we are in a warfare with spiritual powers. 2 Corinthians 11:14 tells us that Satan can transform himself into an angel of light. Peter tells us that he roams about as a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour (1 Peter 5:8). 1 Corinthians 15:24,25 informs us that it is not until the end that all Christ’s enemies are finally put under his feet. Whatever sophisticated twenty-first century sceptics might think and say, we have to reckon with the malevolence and activity of the powers of darkness, both among unbelievers and believers.

Such evil is most easily seen in temptation. The one who tempted Jesus Christ will not leave his followers alone. However, the tempter can use other people, even believers (Matthew 16:23), and a variety of circumstances in his tempting work. We are often told that occultic practices and influences are demonic in nature and can bring people under a measure of demonic control. This may be true, but I think we are unwise to think this is the only or even the main way by which this happens. While I think Scripture is clear that Christian cannot be ‘demonized’, to use the NT word, they can be subject to Satanic attacks. It is not easy to distinguish these from other influences, and they probably seldom come alone, but the devil uses particular situations or weaknesses for his attack. But they are nonetheless real.

We have to teach believers to watch out for temptation. More than that, they need to resist demonic evil in the name of Jesus Christ, 1 Peter 5:8,9; James 4:7,8. This is possible and important. It is also often a great relief for people to realise that the source of their problem is not within them, but comes from without from the enemy and father of lies.

There is personal evil. Sin is a power for evil in the heart of people. It affects every aspect of our personalities and expresses itself in every area of behaviour; thinking, speaking and acting. We are very familiar with this, James 1:13-15; Titus 3:3. We have to instruct believers to mortify sin wherever it appears, Romans 6:12-14; 8:13. But we must not make the mistake of thinking and proceeding on the assumption that all our problems and ills are the result of personal evil.